High Fashion Skater Boy

I can not imagine who would be able to wear these without looking as deluded as Kanye West but I hope someone does, as they are genius. Stylist Robert Verdi has teamed the classic Vans with a variety of Hermes silk scarf designes. I grew out of my skater boy appreciation phase at 15, but I might reconsider if someone managed to pull these off.

Is That Welly Necessary?

Without doubt my best summer to date was spent at Reading Festival. We all know the standard festival uniform; Wellies, denim shorts (now high-waisted) and a Parka thanks to the inevitable British summer. I though, being a festival noob and all around pleb decided I was not going to wear my wellies but instead my leather boots with a 3 inch heel. By my usual standards, that's childs play. The weather was nice, I was in love with my boots, I was going to wear them and no one was going to stop me. But then something did stop me, not a person, a field. A dry dusty enormous field which became my best friend for 3 days. I have said that dancing all night has left me nearly crippled, that was nothing compared to the pain I felt after 14 hours stood in a field as even as Lindsey Lohan's tan.

Then I finally understood why wellies are the law at festivals, because you have to be super-human to cope in anything else. I'll be honest, part of me refused to wear them on principle. I don't have a mass of highlighted hair all swept over to one side, or spend a stupidly long time making my hair look like I've just got out of bed to pair with the pair of Hunters I bought to wear to the 'raves' in my friends field. So I was faced with a decision, try to maintain some moral crusade resulting in a life of orthopedic boots, or join the Hunter's brigade. If you can't beat 'em join 'em. And I did, in a borrowed paired of pink polka dot wellies. Rock.and.Roll.

If by some twist of fate -which is as likely as me being crowned Kim Kardashian look-a-like of the year- I manage to get to a festival this year, I hope to God it will be in a pair of these:

Pure Luxshoery

The Alberto Guardiani SS/11 collection is glamour sports luxe which oozes italian sophistication and makes me think that wearing these would come along with an espresso addiction. The collection revolves around 4 themes for 4 'worlds':

"NAVY - a tribute to the sea and its colours
MATCH POINT - for an ironic, contemporary and sexy tennis style (er..ok..)
MAROCCO - mysteriously fascinating and seductive
CAMEL TROPHY - inspired elements of the survival kits from this world famous rally"

Elegant, beautiful and striking. Yes please.

And lastly, the shoe no doubt destined to epitomise Guardiani;

HavaiaNOTs

On Friday, armed only with my copy of Vogue and a dead iPod to get me through the dullest train journey in existance I made my way from Marylebone station back to surburbia. This journey is so dull, I do it twice a week and have done since January. Why would I want to leave the city I've been in love with since I was 13? Well I have never wanted to, but unless London wants a maniac on the loose anihilating anything in a Polo shirt, or more likely themselves, it was best for everybody.

I was put off buying this months issue of Vogue purely due to the fact Alexa Chung was on the cover. I know, I'm fickle and slightly irrational. But she continued to grate on me in the most intense irritating way when the dullness of the journey left me with no option but to read her interview. I quote, “Blogs are ridiculous; they’re just mood boards – unless you are Tavi.” Right, ignorant and obnoxious? Oh lovely my two favourite qualities combined into one relentless try-hard with undeserved success. Just as I was about to throw the magazine at the suited 50-something opposite me I realised I was in public, got a grip and came across this picture:

It will no doubt amuse my friends massively to know that I later found out this shoe has been named the 'Flamenco' oh the irony. This shoe, and many others are the result of Joanne Stokers SS 2011 collection which is already making waves in the market. I hit google as soon as I got off the bore-wagon and immediately fell in love with the entire collection. London based Joanne Stoker drew her inspiration for the line from a combination of the London skyline and her travels to Cuba- a combination which sounds as compatible as Alexa Chung and myself but which has created a stunning final product. Hot pink, acid lime and electric blue teamed with suede, perspex and python leather, and all from just the designers second season.

Crazy but Shoe

Well kids we're still alive, congratulations you made it. The End is neither nigh nor is the wrath of God about to pour down on to man kind, panic over. I'm not going to lie the prospect of getting out of my last months rent before my lease ends was actually starting to look like a perk, if you can associate 'perks' with the apocalypse. While discussing the impending doom with a friend, we got on to the topic of heaven and hell and came to the conclusion that we would both be heading for hell as, to quote my friend, "It's where all the celebs, musicians, clubs, hot guys, gays and fit girls will be. Plus, if I'm going to hell I'm going in Louboutins." Priorities are clearly not an issue for someone who only drinks Fiji Water because it 'tastes more watery'...

We stayed realistic obviously, and decided that once the compulsory looting (where's the mass hysteria without looting?) began, he and I would be heading directly to the shoe mecca in Selfridges. So, imagine it for yourselves. You're stood in Selfriges, surrounded by the beautiful shoes you have admired and at the same time resented in the same way you have that irrational hate for the goodlooking girl you always see on a night out but never know where she's come from. -"Who even is she?!" translation: "Please do not be a really nice person because then I will have no choice but to abandon all hope."- Which do you go for? Do you head straight to the obvious Louboutins or run dramatically to Charlotte Olympia and grab a pair of snake skin courts? With the same seriousness and bordering on obsessive detail I invest in planning my imminent Euro Millions win, I decided on a short (or not so short) list of the shoes I would be taking with me to the inferno. And judging by the 'End of the World Update' I've just receieved from my friend, I'd advise you to do the same. No one wants to be the one in the club in pumps because you thought you were just going out for a few drinks and didn't plan ahead.

'I dare you to push infront of me at the bar' shoes courtesy of Charlotte Olympia. Snakeskin design in black soft leather with a gold platform and stiletto heel- check.

Apocalypse or not, this summers biggest trend still applies. Carvela has created the perfect block heel sandle in rust suede.

Alexander McQueen, as if you needed telling. A combination of leather and guilded metal the ankle boots with an embossed leaf motif, baroque-inspired buckles and a gold capped toe, the brand continues to excell in trademark gothic high fashion under the new direction of Sarah Burton.

My latest obsession, Jeffrey Campbell, King of the studded wedge makes my heart hurt with his beautiful creations. The Lita boot, available in 48, yes, 48 different colours and designs is my new 'ultimate'.

Alber Elbaz became more architect and less designer when he created these for Lanvin. The mirrored wedge heel finished with a 'harness style' ankle strap and not fortgetting the studs and rivets made my ultimate Looting List.

One final Jeffrey Campbell offering, to give you sweet sweet dreams free of rapture and doom.

Heelvenly

Visionary shoe designer Nicholas Kirkwood has launched a nothing short of genius collection with 80s artist Keith Haring. Kirkwood explained the inspiration behind the creations came from having watched a documentary called The Universe of Keith Haring, " I couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing and prolific he was and how great it would be to incorporate his graphics into my designs". The entire collection, which boasts an array of mesmerizing designes coupled with sculpture-like shapes is on display at the newly launched Nicholas Kirkwood store on Mount Street in London. As you will see from the pictures, or perhaps if you are lucky enough to own a pair, these are not for the faint hearted or attention shy. Personally I find Nicholas Kirkwood's designs genuinely fascinating and works of art in their own right. If an un-made bed can be considered art and fawned over to the extent it makes me want to invite art critics to see my floordrobe to see what they have to say, Kirkwood is, and deservedly so, the modern day Dali of the shoe world.

While wearing these on a Friday night to dance to a David Guetta remix would look as subtle as wearing a flashing neon sign pinned to your chest or as I learned last week, wearing a t-shirt with a half naked model on it, I'd definitely be more than willing to try it.

Uggly or Bootiful?

Despite Summer (allegedly) being imminent no one, including me, has put away their boots yet. Oxford Street is still stuck in February apart from the fact that the Aviator jackets have been replaced with opaque blouses. For once, I'm not talking studded ankle boots with a 5" heel (more on them later), but the timeless flat knee-high. whether tan or black, buckled, zipped or laced, you genuinely can not go wrong. I have always sworn by boots in Autumn/Winter and although it may well have something to do with the London weather, I'm still practically living in them. I still can not, even slightly, understand why someone would chose to wear UGGs over, say, these for example:


A gift from Burberry to you, mere mortal

"Because they're comfortable." No they're not, stop lying. Believe me, I made the amateur error when I was 17 of trying to walk further than from my room to the lounge in a pair of UGGs and ended up getting to Sixth Form looking like I needed specialist orthapedic shoes and ankle supports, not to mention cramp in my feet. What the hell is that about? If they look like something your Grandmother was wearing years ago when she wanted a change from thermal socks, do not wear them out, it's pretty simple. I've also been confronted with the arguement that they're good for cold weather. Well, No. You're lying again. I tested this theory by attempting to walk 100m to the shop in January. I say 'attempted' not because I haven't quite mastered how to put one foot infront of the other yet, but because I failed to make it 4 steps without taking myself out because of the ice on the ground. My leg was bruised, my ego was bruised, it was painful for everyone (just me) involved, so I learnt my lesson. I like to convince myself  that boots are an investment, everyone needs a 'good pair of winter boots' as my Mum would say. "It's important." yes, Mum, yes it is. Chloe and JimmyChoo agree, which is why they have offered us mere mortals with UGG annihilaters.

Now from the practical to the not even slightly practical but inredible creations from Yves Saint Laurent, Givenchy, Louboutin, Stella McCartney and Versace.

The sculpted Cage boot from Yves Saint Laurent hit the Spring/Summer runways in 2009 to instant adoration.

Givenchy took the Gladiator sandle trend to new levels in 2008, probably not the pair to take to the beach.

Self-appointed Louboutin ambassadors the Kardashians have fallen in love with the For Ever Tina suede fringed boots by Christian Louboutin. Don't let that put you off though, the 5.5" heel with hidden platform and almond shaped toe are worthy of the iconic red sole.

It's clear that Stella McCartney was not going for understated or discreet when designing these thigh high perforated boots and for that, I thank her. Perforation detail, a sculpted gun-metal heel and gun-metal trim make all £715 worth of this boot mesmerising. We are promised they 'simply slip on' but as much as I adore them, I highly doubt that. 'Simply' and 'Slip on' are the last words I'd associate with this bordering on inappropriate design.

And lastly Versace doing what Versace does best with this black and white geometric leather cut out boot.

shoely not

There are very few reasons I would be jealous of Khloe Kardashian. Firstly, she looks like a pre-op transsexual - an especially unfortunate one. Secondly, she has two ridiculously good looking sisters, that's just awkward. She's basically the Kardashian version of that one memeber of the boyband that no one remembers, the short one that stands at the back and occasionally gets to do a harmony if he's lucky, except she's not short she's giant. However, that woman has a shoe collection that deserves serious respect. It's a Louboutin mecca bordering on disgustingly excessive and I honestly think it would cause any normal human being a moral internal struggle.

I'm not going to go into the morality of owning such a such a self indulgent collection because who's to say I wouldn't do exactly the same if I had a huge inheritance and shamless reality tv career. There is no way she's worn all of these shoes, or ever will, we all have a favourite pair that we totally kill. I doubt millionairesses are any different, although their favourite pair of shoes are more likely to be Alexander McQueen rather than TOPSHOP.

Alexander McQueen continues to prove itself as the ultimate rockstar of high fashion with these stud-embellished white python and leather ankle boots. Of course they come at the rockstar price of £1,295.